I knew having another baby would be tough: no sleep, constant breast feeding. I also knew it would suck tenfold having a toddler at the same time. Try to pour apple juice with one hand while a baby is nursing at your boob with the other hand, while a toddler screams he wants pretzels and not animal crackers, without losing your mind.
At the first pediatrician appointment when my newborn was just 5 days old, I pretty much cried the entire time. This prompted a referral to a psychologist who, because of the nurse’s concerns, saw me an insurance-defying two days, where I cried that entire appointment as well. By Friday, when I went back to the pediatrician, and continued to blubber the entire conversation, I knew something was wrong.
I needed help.
At this point, my husband was back at work and no family member had called that week to see how I was doing with my c-section recovery, two hernias, two dogs that were crapping all over the place, and a newborn that was awake from 6pm-4am, and a toddler that was awake from 6am-8pm. (You do the math.)
I was doing laundry and making meals within two days of arriving home from the hospital, and wasn’t too shocked that on two occasions I need help getting up from a chair because I had back seizures. I was popping Motrin like it was no tomorrow, and dealing with a couple of professional issues where people were causing me unnecessary grief to boot. I wanted to drive to another state, check into a Motel6 and hope no one would find me.
We decided to take the pediatrician’s, nurse’s and shrink’s advice, and hire a short-term nanny. So we reached out to a woman that our neighbor had used & was known by others in the neighborhood.
But I decided to put up with it because I was so exhausted. However, when I cut back her hours going into the following week because I wanted to visit a friend one of the days, she didn’t want to show up for any of the days. I was left holding the bag….again. And I was seriously freaked.
Luckily, through all of this, with family MIA, neighbors MIA, and nannies MIA, my blogging friends rocked. In fact, I shouldn’t even quantify them with the blogging preface. They are friends. Period. Offering to stop by so I could take a shower or sleep, offering to make a meal or drop off food. Then actually doing it.
It meant so much.
I also learned which people in my life I could count on…and those who I couldn’t.
Have things gotten better? No. But I’m learning to adapt. Err…kind of. I know that my Mom had three kids under three. I know my friends have had twins, I know that others have dealt with two kids of their own. But this is my first foray into second-time Mom-dom and I’m still learning the ropes. Maybe I’ll never be good at it or love it like others, but I need to figure it out. And I will. Today is my first day on my own. No daycare, no nanny, no husband. Not sure how I will do, but I know that I’ll make it to the end of the day regardless of what mental state I will be in.
All in all, in the weeks ahead, I can adjust knowing that there is a group of people that care. And you know what? Back atcha my friends. Right back atcha.
There are so many people who rock, but I want to give a special thanks to Sarah, Cindy, Kelly, Liz, Melanie, Sharon, and the awesomeness of Christy, Kim T., Jessica, Amy O., and more. Thanks guys. And thanks to many of my non-blogging friends, who keep cheering me up on Facebook too!