Boston was just named the least friendly city.

[No suh!]

Ya suh! Not sure why though.

Oh, wait. It’s because some boneheads at GQ don’t like our baseball hats and sneakers. If you dealt with freakin’ humidity that made your hair look like it was electrocuted, you would wear a baseball hat from one of the national championship teams we have in Massachusetts too, you morons. Oh, and try walking on the f’in historic cobblestones in Manolo Blancs and see how long you last, pissas. (Dang people in NYC hatin’ on our lobster embroidered ‘kahkis’.)

Hmmmm. Still not sure why we would be named the least friendly city.

It’s not like we get bent out of shaped when chucklehead some bangs a left in front of us to get to a Cumbies because they are in the wrong lane on the 128S/95N/93N stretch. It’s clear as day which way to go, loozahs. Granted we may be a bit on edge, but who thinks it’s wicked awesome that the Big Dig/Big Dug tunnel ceilings and light fixtures fall on your cah when you drive on the Mass Pike?

Maybe our new title could be because of Whitey Bulger?  I mean, it did take them 16 years to find him, and his brother was the longest serving State Senate President in the Massachusetts Legislature. Could totally bend someone out of shape for sure.

Not that anything evah bothers me. I have no problem living in Taxachusetts. (Or it is Corruptachusetts, I can’t keep up.) I bet it is because people put jimmies on ice cream cones after having a grinder, a tonic and a whoopie pie. Sounds really X rated, which makes the Puritan Pilgrims roll over in their graves. Or maybe GQ editors don’t like Hoodsie cups?

So you’s guys, we are a very friendly city, so long as you stay out of our way. Otherwise, we’ll call you a MassHole and be wicked pissed as we sit in a 10 mile backup on the way to Cape Cod.

{This is a tongue-in-cheek post as Charlene has great familiarity with Massachusetts. She was born there, and she might have turned out okay.}

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Image Credit: Road Sign Fun