A couple of weeks ago, I asked my Facebook fans this question:
I think my question stemmed from the surgery I am facing, and the sudden (and rather permanent) decision we need to make regarding expanding our family (or not.) In other words, a question I think a lot of us are currently facing, should I have one more child?
Recently, I have had conversations with friends who said they were stopping at two. Now they are trying for a third. Then I have other friends who say ‘quit while we are ahead.’ Heck, even our realtor said, “Stop while you have a fair fight.” Meaning, I presume, that it is two on two vs. being outnumbered.
Well meaning family members say that since we have a boy and a girl, we have the ‘perfect family’, so why add to it? Others feel that having one of each takes the pressure off having another one as we are not “trying for a certain gender”. A third baby is a bonus, they say.
Luckily financial concerns aren’t limiting our choices. (Though if college tuition keeps going up, maybe it will be.) Thus, the big issue for us is age. I’m turning 40 next year and my husband is getting AARP mail. As it is, my youngest will be graduating college when we qualify for social security. Added to the fact that recent medical studies are leaning towards advanced age as a probable factor for autism. I also know having pregnancies as I continue to get older, increase my risk for genetic complications. One factor I dealt with during this last pregnancy, which prompted this post.
I still cannot believe I’m facing this decision. I spent most of my life making sure I didn’t get pregnant, and most of the conversation was about whether to delay or not delay starting a family. Never did the conversation go to when one would stop having kids. Yet, here we are.
As I said in a post of mine last month:
“At times, I know I’m done. At other times, I dream of a little nameless face. As I’m up with my children at night, I wonder about the children I may never have. As I’m up with my children at night and desperate for sleep, I think two is enough. Am I okay with that?” (CharleneChronicles.com 10/31/12)
What about you? How did you make your decision?